girltheology

Tonight is my last night in Vancouver. It's been a bit of a whirlwind trip, even though I've been here 6 days. I leave to fly back to Calgary tomorrow, then have a full day of work starting in the afternoon when I get back to Alsask.

I had a nice visit with my Grandpa Edgar (93) in Alert Bay over the weekend. Have seen my BEAUTIFUL nephew a few times now, and will be sad to miss the next month of his life! Really, all he does now is eat and sleep, but he's so beautiful just to sit and watch and hold. My brother and sister-in-law are so in love with Blake, and they are such relaxed, good parents. I'm so proud of them!

It's strange for me to think about going back to work and jumping into the season of Advent and waiting.... waiting for something to happen. For me it feels like it's already happened! This baby is such a blessing to our family, and I'm going to miss him. I wonder what else I will happen that I can wait for during Advent??

My brother and his wife, Robb and Susan Lansdowne, brought my first nephew - Blake Robert Lansdowne - into the world today at 7:37 am Pacific Time. All three are healthy and well. My parents (Bruce & Dolly) became Granny Dolly and Grandpa Bruce (or whatever he wants to call him)! See the happy grandparents with their first grandchild....

Truly a happy day!

It occurs to me that I've really never published any entries on what my internship is LIKE. I've told you about the manse and posted pictures of the churches... actually, I think there is only a picture of Grace United on the website, so I've posted a picture of Alsask United here.

Anyways - I have been busier than I ever would have imagined living in a rural town. Part of this comes from the necessity of driving so much. This month I'll pass the 20,000km mark on my new car (4 months old). I drive about 300-500km on a slow week, sometimes much more. But what am I busy doing?

Well - I am still visiting the shut-ins in our congregation (there are 4) who I absolutely love. Three especially have absolutely great personalities, and we get on quite well. I am part of the Alsask book club - I was away to something for the October meeting (Oh - Toronto - will explain later in this entry), so tonight will be my first meeting with the club. We have read "No Crystal Stair" by Mairuth Sarsfeld. It's a "passing" novel about life for the Afro-Canadian community in Montreal during the 40's. I had never heard of a genre of literature about "passing." Passing is a term used to describe races other than caucasian passing for white. So it was, obviously, a very interesting read for me!

Every week I go five pin bowling with the Alsask Ladies Afternoon Bowling League. Now... some of you may scoff and think "5 pin bowling! That's not work!" But be gentle with me... For one - it's actually extremely challenging physically, and I'm always sore for a good 2 days after my bowling day. Secondly - I don't particularly like 5 pin bowling. But it is a great time to be in community with the women in my community, and they have a great time laughing at me. My average is something like 113. That with a 50 handicap. For those of you who don't know scoring for 5 pin bowling.... that's NOT good. And for those of you who know me well enough to know that I sometimes don't like things I'm not good at - this is not the case. I actually LOVE 10 pin bowling. I think in this situation it's more like I am not good at 5 pin bowling because I don't like it. Enough about that!~

I'm a member of Prairie Pine Presbytery (presbytery = the regional body of the United Church of Canada). In September I attended my first presbytery meeting, and Friday/Saturday of this week just past I attended the annual "two day" meeting of presbytery. The meetings are usually held north of my area since our presbytery is so large geographically we need to choose somewhere somewhat central to meet. This meeting brought about very little parliamentary business (our presbytery executive has the power to make decisions on our behalf, so is actually more episcopal than some), but we did have presentations on conspicuous consumption, visioning feedback for Saskatchewan Conference (facilitated by SK Conference president John Yeo of Moosimon), and Desmond Parsons (my predecessor at Marengo Pastoral Charge) did a presentation on his experience in the World Council of Churches Ecumenical Accompaniment Program in Palestine, where he worked as short term Overseas Personnel for the United Church.

I presided at the graveside interment of ashes of a former resident of this area last month, and Monday will be my first big full funeral. The family is expecting 200-250 people, and so the folk at St. Paul's United in Kindersley have graciously allowed for me to use their church, rather than trying to find space in a hall or using the funeral home (which is not the best laid out place for a funeral, funnily enough). The death was expected, and although he did not come to church, he was affiliated with our congregations, and a great deal of his family attend. I had met him, and was grateful for that experience, as it makes my job easier, both pastorally and liturgically.

This coming week I have a trip back to Vancouver booked! It seems both soon and very much appreciated to have a week's vacation at this point. I got taken down a notch with a nasty flu last week, and so I'm actually quite ready to go home for a visit and take a load off. Although one of my internship goals is to maintain a healthy work/life balance, what profs and other ministers have told me: that there will always always ALWAYS be more ministry to do than you ever have time or energy for.... is very true. I think I do do a good job of taking time out for myself - I have a healthy social life here, and I often escape to my quilting group or into the city to see friends. But there is always an undercurrent of pressure which does not subside - it's like an awareness that there is always something that needs to be done soon, or should be being done now. That may be something I simply have to get over. Then there is the fact that my job is sort of on-call 24/7. This week, for example, I spent most of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday doing very little work in order to recover from the flu I had. I decided not to go quilting, since Thursday I would have time to write this weekend's service. Friday and Saturday I was scheduled to be at presbytery in Unity. It seemed manageable. Then we had the death in the community, and all of a sudden it's Thursday morning, and I am 1 day away from a 2 day trip out of town, and have to do two services on Sunday, and then a funeral on Monday - not to mention pastoral support for the family.

This is not to complain, but rather to say that I think in ministry it is important to have resources and time built in for weeks like this. I guess how I am achieving my learning goal in this area, is that I had a support network which I drew on, I got the work done, and I actually got 8 hours sleep last night! (Or almost)...

On a personal note... Robb and Susan (my brother and sister-in-law) are expecting their first child any day. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl, and are hoping for a fast and safe delivery of this healthy baby! Hopefully, if things turn out as I'd like them to, the baby will either be born before Wednesday when I head back to Vancouver, or while I am home. Keep our family and Susan's in your prayers!

I was meaning to write about my role in the World Council of Churches General Assembly delegation, but this is starting to get rather verbose, so I'll save that news for my Christmas letter.

Off to preach about the promises of the Prince of Peace!

Today I attended a workshop sponsored by the Prairie Pine Presbytery of Saskatchewan Conference entitled, “Neighbours Helping Neighbours.” The purpose of the gathering was to vision futures for our Church in a time of transition – changing culture, aging populations, shrinking communities, struggling with rural farm economies (or lack thereof!) and the increasing fatigue of lay leadership and accountable ministry personnel.

One minister who participated a concern which she has been carrying for some time – that is the changing culture around spirituality and religion in North American culture. If a person identifies themselves as a “spiritual person” who doesn't believe in “institutionalized religion,” our contemporary culture of inclusivity requires us to accept that person's beliefs as valid and acceptable. However, what is lacking – and I think this answers a question I've had trouble articulating answers to – is that there is the personal sense of a spiritual connection (to God, universe, nature, whatever), but no accountability to anyone but the self.

There are many valid criticisms of organized religions. The “Churches” have been hypocrites of the worst kind in relation to oppression, racism, sexism, war, and economics. This is a historic and (unfortunately) a contemporary fact. However – the best of what the church catholic (small “c” - as in universal) calls us to be is accountable to one another in community. This, I believe, is the real value of organized religion. It is the measure of our best selves. Granted, we fall short of the mark so often that it may seem a futile exercise to those who do not share our faith, but it speaks to the motto of our church in the United Church of Canada: Ut Omnes Unum Sint (That All May Become One).

When power functions as privilege or the lack thereof, the issue of justice arises with regards to power. If the purpose of the kin/dom of God is to enact (theologian J.D. Crossan’s) “commensality,” then justice issues are inseparable from the application and mis/use of power. Crossan writes, “Open commensality is the symbol and embodiment of ...an absolute equality of people that denies the validity of any discrimination between them and negates the necessity of any hierarchy among them.” While our worst abuses within the history of the church have been which those in privileged positions mis/use power by acting against or on behalf of others, our best successes as a church have been when we witness to the Good News of Jesus the Christ by attempting to live out commensality in communities accountable to one another as both individuals and groups.

As far as I can see it, it's difficult to act as individuals in a way that always embodies justice. Living in community together holds us accountable in a way that our minds can never do on their own. No matter how rational you are as a person, without complete respect for the inherent power to act in all individuals, our subjective minds too easily act against or on behalf of others. Despite the shortcomings of organized religion, the intention is still to hold each other accountable to a higher standard of living in commensality. Even if we fall way short of that most of the time, I still see the value in it.

I've been thinking alot lately about school and areas of study and the like. Tonight I've been re-reading my journal for my MDiv Honours thesis, and there are two quotes I've recorded that are kind of jumping out at me.

From Linda Holler's Erotic Morality: The Role of Touch in Moral Angency:

My working hypothesis is that deontological ethics, that is, the ethics of
obedience to law and duty, is the only kind of ethic possible in an ontology
which severs mind from body and culture from nature. A direct consequence
of moral theory's flight from the body may be the formalization of moral
discourse and absolute rules, rights, and duties. These are the
legalistic, mathematical adn abstract values that emerge in the life of the
disembodied subject who looks at the world from a distance to weigh and pass
judgment. The values of intimacy, relatedness, responsibility, caring and
compassion are erotic values arising from sensory feeling and emotional
connectedness. While one may want to argue that moral agency demands both
types of values, erotic values have been dismissed in traditional moral theory
at least partially because they muddy up the water: they create ambiguous and
fluid boundaries by acknowledging the reality of change and
interconnectedness. The flesh-and-blood presence of eros in the world
cannot be reduced to the formalized abstractions of law or mathematics. p.62-63.

That quote being somewhat connected by subject to Grace Jantzen's Becoming Divine: Towards a Feminist Philosophy of Religion:

Again if the self is much less unified and autonomous than had been assumed,
much more rooted in unconscious desire and racked with insecurity, what is the
effect of this on questions of 'freedom of the will'? p.37

This is a great question for a feminist discourse in theological ethics. If we are trying to engage psychoanalysis in our pastoral relationships, but denying it in the philosophy of religion, then how can theology be relevant in a contemporary context?


Just random thoughts from my crowded brain.

C.

Outside my front door, circa 12:30am today.